l(a... (a leaf falls on loneliness)

Dori came to town, and we talked about this poem by ee cummings.

l(a

le
af
fa
ll

s)
one
l
iness

Küssen Verboten = Kissing Forbidden.

Man, oh man! I found this video on YouTube, and it brings back my high school German class days! I love German. This band is crazy, by the way. Their name is Die Prinzen which means the Princes. Watch the video for some laughs.

Roses are scentless, hopeless are the morns,
Rest is but weakness, laughter crackling thorns,
If thou, the Truth, do not make them true;
Thou art my life, O Christ, and nothing else will do.

- George MacDonald, "February 4th"

Figure of Grief, from the Tomb of Pierre Gareau by Francois Dominique Aime Milhomme

The wounded hands, the weary human face.

Christ Bearing the Cross, with Dominican Friar by Barna da Siena

Come down, O Christ, and help me! Reach thy hand
For I am drowning in a stormier sea
Than Simon on thy lake of Galilee:
The wine of life is split upon the sand,
My heart is as some famine-murdered land
When all good things have perished utterly,
And well I know my soul in Hell must lie
If I this night before God's throne should stand.
"He sleeps, perchance, or rideth to the chase,
Like Baal, when his prophets howled the name
From morn till noon on Carmel's smitten height."
Nay, peace, I shall behold before the night,
The feet of brass, the robe more white than flame,
The wounded hands, the weary human face.

-- Oscar Wilde, E Tenebris

Sufjan + the Innocence Mission =

Sufjan Stevens covers The Innocence Mission's song "The Lakes of Canada." The IM happens to be one of my favorite bands, and Sufjan Stevens happens to be one of my favorites as well. Thus, this combination is heavenly in my opinion.

Moreover, "The Lakes of Canada" has such rich and hopeful lyrics with vivid imagery. I love the image of joy being like a fish, a sudden light. How many times this song has given me comfort.



Look for me another day.
I feel that I could change,
I feel that I could change.
There's a sudden joy that's like
A fish, a moving light;
I thought I saw it
Rowing on the lakes of Canada.

Oh, laughing man, what have you won?
Don't tell me what cannot be done.
My little mouth, my winter lungs,
Don't tell me want cannot be done.
Walking in a circle of a flashlight
Someone starts to sing, to join in.

Talk of loneliness in quiet voices
I am shy, but you can reach me,
Rowing on the lakes of Canada
Rowing on the lakes of Canada. - The Innocence Mission

Listen to the original here, and then go support the IM by buying their albums.

The Innocence Mission - Lakes of Canada (mp3)

When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
In God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?

Psalm 56:3-4

Language...

At the End of the Porch by John J. Sharman

"Language...has created the word 'loneliness' to to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone." - Paul Tillich

"I think the choir is getting ready to let it rip."

This morning my great-grandmother, Elmo Rutherford, was baptized at the age of 98. She has been a Christian since she was a little girl and was baptized, but she felt she did not really understand what it meant to be baptized. Thus, she chose to be baptized again. At age 98. This made her very happy.

After the sermon, the baptism, and lunch at Cracker Barrel, we went to Nanny's front porch. Nanny wanted to sit on the steps because she didn't want anyone to get up from the front porch swing or chairs on her behalf.

This is Nanny and my great-aunt Mickey, whose real name is Kazue (Kah-zoo-way).

This is Cheyenne. She is five and a half. The half is very important, mind you.

This is Jasper. He is seven and three-quarters. The three-quarters is very important, mind you.

When I was little, my uncle would take us to this creek and bridge near Nanny's house. I felt very old taking Jasper and Cheyenne there today, but it made me so happy to carry on the tradition. Every grandchild and great-grandchild of Nanny's has always gone to "the bridge."I love this abandoned building. If it were ever restored, I think I'd cry. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. It needs to stay abandoned. There is something very nostalgic and poignant about an abandoned building. I'm not sure why.





"Why aren't you taking a picture of me? Take a picture of me!"




I told them to a make a normal smile. These are not their normal smiles.

I love this bridge. I hope it always stays rusted and shaky.

On anxiety.

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. - Søren Kierkegaard

Anxiety is the handmaiden to creativity. - T.S. Eliot

He's a bandit and a heart breaker / Oh, but Jesus was a cross maker

I heard the thunder come rumblin'
The light never looked so dim
I see the junction git nearer'
And danger is in the wind
And either road's lookin' grim

Hidin' me, I flee, desire dividin' me
He's a bandit and a heart breaker
Oh, but Jesus was a cross maker
Yes, Jesus was a cross maker
Sweet silver angels over the sea
Please come down flyin' low for me - Judee Sill

Judee Sill - Jesus Was A Cross Maker (MP3)

Greater than Moses, turn and look once more and smite a rock.

"Good Friday" by Christina Rossetti

  Am I a stone and not a sheep
    That I can stand, O Christ, beneath Thy Cross,
    To number drop by drop Thy Blood's slow loss,
  And yet not weep?

  Not so those women loved
    Who with exceeding grief lamented Thee;
    Not so fallen Peter weeping bitterly;
  Not so the thief was moved;

  Not so the Sun and Moon
    Which hid their faces in a starless sky,
    A horror of great darkness at broad noon,--
  I, only I.

  Yet give not o'er,
    But seek Thy sheep, true Shepherd of the flock;
  Greater than Moses, turn and look once more
    And smite a rock.

Like a dog drags his chain...

"Don't get caught up in the trap of neurotic guilt. 'Christ died for your sins!' Your sins have been imputed to Christ if you have trusted him and his righteousness has been imputed to you. To drag around your sins like a dog drags his chain, is to disregard the salvation of the Lord. Let not this commandment be like a chain, but like a challenge -- a word from your dear heavenly Father urging you to obedience and to 'a life worthy of the gospel.'

Your Father speaks to you. Can you hear him? 'You shall be holy, for I am holy.' If you are sorry for things in your past: repent, believe the gospel of forgiveness and imputed righteousness, and get on with the matter at hand in your calling as a child of the Kingdom of God, trusting in him and representing him in the various connections and relationships of your life!" - Dr. Dan Orme

"A New Lifestyle" by James Tate

"Eight O'Clock Coffee, 1935" by Ralph Steiner

People in this town drink too much
coffee. They're jumpy all the time. You
see them drinking out of their big plastic
mugs while they're driving. They cut in
front of you, they steal your parking places.
Teenagers in the cemeteries knocking over
tombstones are slurping café au lait.
Recycling men hanging onto their trucks are
sipping espresso. Dogcatchers running down
the street with their nets are savoring
their cups of mocha java. The holdup man
entering a convenience store first pours
himself a nice warm cup of coffee. Down
the funeral parlor driveway a boy on a
skateboard is spilling his. They're so
serious about their coffee, it's all they
can think about, nothing else matters.
Everyone's wide awake but looks incredibly
tired.

Photography of Willy Ronis.

Le Petit Parisien, 1952 (This is my favorite one.)

To School, 1959

Vincent Sleeping, 1946

Prague, 1967

Aubagne, 1947

Venise Fondamenta Nueva, 1959

Nuit au chalet, 1935

Le Vigneron Giroudin, 1945

La Ciotat, 1947

To learn more about the French photographer Willy Ronis, click here or here. Isn't he great?

it is likely God is testing your faith

"Is there here this morning, someone whose faith is being tested, right at this very time in your life? Is it a fear, or an internal disability? Is it something physical? Is it some great anxiety about the future? Does it have to do with a great loss in your life or with a conflict regarding another person? Is it something you have wanted for a long time, and now it seems that it is not to be in God's plan for your life? If you are a true Christian, it is likely that God is testing your faith --not to show it up as bogus faith, or weak faith, but as a means to growing that faith and of making that faith of yours into a matter of 'praise and glory and honor' to the Triune God." - Dr. Dan Orme

On assurance.

Dr. Dan Orme, The University Church, November 5, 2006 Romans 5: 1-11, "Reformation Sunday"

"Do you have doubts about whether the Lord receives you or not? Does your Christian assurance come and go with the weather and the mood of your day? If you have received Christ, your sins have been forgiven -- past, present and future. Insofar as God is your judge, 'there is therefore now, no condemnation.' Your sins have been laid upon Christ. But you are not just 'forgiven,' as if to say that you now must do something to make yourself valuable to God, or else he won't like you very much. He has imputed to you all the goodness of Jesus Christ and treats you accordingly and will treat you accordingly for an eternity. Even such things as promising your rewards in heaven for your shoddy good works, is a matter of grace. He has accepted you as righteous, only for Christ's good works that have been imputed to you. Do you realize that? It is a starting place for a correct view about the earthly life of Christ as your Savior."

Wreaths by Carolyn Hillman

Red wreaths
Hang in my neighbor's window
Green wreaths in my own.
On this day I lost my husband
On this day you lost your boy.
On this day
Christ was born.
Red wreaths,
Green wreaths
Hang in our windows,
Red for a bleeding heart,
Green for grave grass.
Mary, mother of Jesus,
Look down and comfort us.
You too knew passion;
You too knew pain.
Comfort us,
Who are not brides of God,
Nor bore God.
On Christmas day
Hang wreaths,
Green for spent passion,
Red for new pain.

On the leaf-bright Friday drive...

Oh, be the music in my head
The air around my bed
Oh, be my rest
Replace the small disgraces of
The times and places I never really left

Oh, I want to fly, fly forward into the light
Be alive, to come alive
On the leaf-bright Friday drive
Sudden horses at the redlight
Turn around, see clearer ways to go now

- the Innocence Mission