we're frightened of ordinariness

"The Desert Father’s called this the demon of Acedia – that raging desire to escape from the ordinary. Acedia was described as a state of listlessness, leading to a state of being unable to place value on what is embarrassingly ordinary. The demon of Acedia holds an important place in early monastic psychology. The Desert Father John Cassian observed this heart sickness that would come over monks who lived dwelling on an “ideal” all day. It made them have increasing disdain and reduced commitment to the everyday discipleship with their brethren. I’ll say it again…we’re frightened of ordinariness." - Dan White Jr.

how to completely depend on God

It is only when you reach the very bottom, when everything falls apart, when all your schemes and resources are broken and exhausted, that you are finally open to learning how to completely depend on God. As is often said, you never realize that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have. You must lose your life to find your life (Matthew 10: 39).

[Tim Keller]

vemödalen

disconcerted by nothing

“Who is the invincible human being? One who can be disconcerted by nothing that lies outside the sphere of choice.” - Epictetus

to heal you

“Remember the one who has ridiculed you, who has grieved you, who has wronged you, who has done evil to you, as your physician, your healer. Christ sent him to heal you; don’t remember him with anger.” - Abba Zossima

the root of all heartache

Expectation is the root of all heartache.

it is ruinous; repair it

“Narrow is the mansion of my soul; enlarge it, that You may enter in. It is ruinous; repair it. It must offend Your eyes; I confess and know it. But who shall cleanse it? Or to whom should I cry, except to You? Lord, cleanse me from my secret faults, and spare Your servant from the power of the enemy. I believe, and therefore do I speak.” - Augustine

love me there

“Crawl inside this body.
Find me where I am most ruined.
Love me there.”

- Rune Lazuli

hand and eye

“The husband and wife should be like the hand and eye. When the hand hurts, the eyes should be crying, and when the eyes cry, the hand should wipe away the tears.” - St. John Chrysostom

become a Pharisee

"Fastest way to become a Pharisee is to hate Pharisees." - Tim Keller

repentance is the way to peace

“Repentance is hard. Repentance is painful. Repentance is difficult. But it’s the only way to get peace.” - Tim Keller

what you love

“The Augustinian point is that you are defined by what you love. It’s your loves that govern your action and pursuits. Indeed, you are more defined by what you love than what you think or know or believe.” - James K.A. Smith

goodness, truth, beauty

“Look after goodness and truth, and beauty will take care of herself.” - Eric Gill

distract themselves

"When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure." - Viktor Frankl

esteem for silence

"There are times when good words are to be left unsaid out of esteem for silence." - Rule of St. Benedict (6:2)

means nothing to me

“Your approval means nothing to me, because I know you don’t have God’s love within you."

[John 5:41-42]

regard our humility

I have never put my hope in any other

but in Thee, God of Israel

who canst show both wrath and graciousness,

and who absolves all the sins

of man in suffering

Lord God,

Creator of Heaven and Earth

Regard our humility

- "Spem in Alium" by Thomas Tallis

i can hear the flowers a-growing

"So, while you sit and whistle Dixie
With your money and your power
I can hear the flowers a-growing
In the rubble of the towers
I hear leaders quit their lyin'
I hear babies quit their cryin'
I hear soldiers quit their dyin'
One and all"

["I Hear Them All" by Old Crow Medicine Show]

meddling, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, and unsociable

"Marcus Aurelius started each day telling himself: ‘I shall meet with meddling, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, and unsociable people.'"

- from "Why Stoicism is One of the Best Mind Hacks Ever Devised" by Lary Wallace

their view of things

"People are disturbed not by things but by their view of things." - Epictetus

rather give alms of such things that are within

"Do you think it is enough to wash your hands before eating? There is a surer means. Let some poor man partake of your meats and wines." - Godot

"But give as alms those things that are within, and behold, everything is clean for you." - Luke 11:41

nonchalant toward sin

Have you become nonchalant toward sin in your life because you say, “God is love”? God DOES love you, and that is why he will not support you in living apart from him.

[Tim Keller]

Sorry for all the Keller quotes.

to be ready for suffering

"The mark of wisdom is to be ready for suffering. If you aren’t, you aren’t competent with regard to the realities of life. But suffering is also a discipline for growth in wisdom. It can drive you toward God into greater love and strength or away from him into hardness of heart."

[Tim Keller]

When people edit their sentences because they know your stance on the Oxford comma.

I love my sister. She understands me.

The Soul Saving Station on Dodds Avenue in Chattanooga, Tennessee

God, you need not send
Me to hell cause here on earth
For the short lives of thousands upon thousands
Gravitate towards my hearth
Each one single file
Skipping to its home sweet home
Backwards down the aisle
Of my throat where the Church of Rome
Sends its grave petitions
To the wake in my lungs
Pleading with the clowns and the magicians
To stop the dance on my tongue
That keeps the millions from being embraced
‘Cause they should be bathing in tomato soup
Outside the camp, heads shaved with shame
But instead they're napping on my spleen
Unaware of the day when my body will fold
Still I'll befriend them in their dreams
And ignore the doubts I never told

your relentless quest for your own meaning

I am reading NT Wright's book Justification. I struggle with assurance of salvation, and a book about justification seems apropos. I'm barely into it, and I am learning so much already.

I want to take some time to summarize some of his main points that I found interesting.

So far Wright has mentioned the Reformers, a tradition of which I am a part of (Disclaimer: I love my church) several times. Apparently, Wright stated that John Piper suggested that he was doing away with a tradition that has lasted centuries. Because Wright questions the Reformed doctrine of "imputed righteousness," he is forsaking tradition, which is so interesting to me that Piper would even bring up tradition in their conversations. Why is it okay that the Reformers -- Luther, Calvin, et al -- questioned the traditions of the Roman Catholic church, and yet we cannot question the traditions of the Reformers?

Wright says, "The greatest honor we can pay the Reformers is not to treat them as infallible -- they would be horrified at that -- but to do as they did." What he is referring to is the intensive spiritual disciplines: "to soak myself in the Bible, in the Hebrew and Aramaic Old Testament and the Greek New Testament, to get it into my bloodstream every means possible, in the prayer and hope that I would be able to teach Scripture afresh to the church and the world."

And again, "Wise later readers will honor them, but not canonize them., by thinking through their statements afresh in the light of Scripture itself."

II

Another issue Wright brings up is our tendency to read our questions into Scripture, when the Scripture is talking entirely about something else!

It reminds me of one of the several memes (coming from my own Reformed circle, no less):

Wright states, "If you read your own questions into the text, and try to get an answer from it, when the text itself is talking about something else, you run the risk not only of hearing only the echo of your own voice rather than the word of God but also of missing the key point that the text was actually eager to tell you, and which you have brushed aside in your relentless quest for your own meaning." 

Wow. Talk about a whack in the head (my head). This was a wake-up call to me. I wonder how often I do this. I come to the Bible searching for answers to my questions, but if I eeny-meeny-miny-mo the Bible, I can't expect to find God speaking to me -- to my exact situation with all of its unique, minute details. Context, context, context. But any Reformed person would say that too. 

Wright states (I have to keep saying "states" because "Wright writes" just sounds silly), "[It] is vital (within any Christian theology, and, indeed within good hermeneutical practice on many corpus of texts) to allow one writing to illuminate another."

The vibe I got was that he seems to think this is more uncommon than common. And maybe it is, but not in my tradition. Even as a kid, I can still remember my dad (a then Baptist pastor) saying that we use Scripture to interpret Scripture, which seems to me to be exactly what Wright just said above.

But one thing that is different is that he does address a teaching that is held tightly by the Reformed tradition. It is the belief that when Paul is talking about the law, he is including our efforts to gain good standing with God through moral achievement (as opposed to the laws regarding Jewish ceremonial customs, which is what Wright holds to -- as far as I understand it at least). For more info on that debate, you can read an overview at Ye Olde Source of Wisdom As Long As It Provides Reliable Sources -- Wikipedia.

But as much as I would like to keep reading and writing, I need to go do some cleaning.

Maybe I'll keep this up. Maybe I won't. We shall see.

But hey, it was an actual blog post and not just a quote.

Either way, writing felt good to my soul tonight.

the stone of research

"There are those who ask for the bread of insight and are given instead the stone of research."


[a paraphrased statement by Ben F. Meyer]

a deeper security

"Trouble can take anything away from you except God. Therefore, if God is to you a greater safety, a deeper security, and a more powerful hope than anything else in the world, you fear no trouble."

[Tim Keller]

playing with the photo editor

I have been using a photo editing program called Affinity, and I've been experimenting with the many different features. I had to share this photo of my husband with his deformed hand. Doesn't it look real?* 😂

* He has two normal hands.

Also, I am going to have so much fun with this editing program.