Saturday, October 15, 2016

furnace of doubt

"It is not as a child that I believe and confess Jesus Christ. My hosanna is born of a furnace of doubt." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

5 comments:

Rachel said...

Hi Meredith. I'm stumped. What does it mean? What does it mean to you?
Thinking of you, miss you.

Meredith Beck said...

I suppose I saw it as a different phrasing of "I believe; help my unbelief!"

Rachel said...

Alright. I understand the last clause, that faith is born out of the possibility to choose unbelief. It's the first clause that I'm confused about -- it's surprising to read someone write that his believe is not child-like, because we usually say that in some sense child-like faith is what we need, quoting Jesus. Perhaps he means that his faith is not like a child in the sense that children's beliefs are formed typically from the perspective of one informant, and their beliefs have not yet been challenged. His faith has been tried. Is that what he meant, when you read it in context?

Meredith Beck said...

I didn't read it in context, so I am not sure. I think he is simply pointing to a tried faith, struggling through doubts. And he's still shouting hosanna even though he has had doubts. To me, it is a beautiful quote.

I know some Christians who have never questioned the Bible, certain doctrines, etc. And I think that is a blessing. But many people wrestle with God before they submit to Him as Father. A childlike faith, I think, doesn't mean blind faith that never questions or doubts (like a child believing in Santa without questioning). I think a childlike faith is recognizing that God is our Father and submitting to Him as a child does. And some people get that trust/obedience through blind faith; others go kicking and screaming, wrestling with questions, enduring long dark nights of the soul. But in the end...shouting hosanna to their Father. I identify more with this kind of faith.

Rachel said...

Thanks for spelling that out. Just last night my son and I experienced the difficulty of learning submission, and I saw mirrored in us the relationship of myself and the Father.