say to God first

"If you have a child with a reactionary character, whatever you want to say to him, say to God first. Kneel before God and through the grace of God, your words will be conveyed to your child... Another child may listen to what you say, but though he hears he easily forgets. Therefore, you will kneel and ask for God's grace again, so that your fatherly words will fall upon good soil and bear fruit.... Don't pressure your children. Whatever you want to say to them, say it with your prayers. Children don't listen with their ears. They'll only listen to what we want to tell them when divine grace appears and enlightens them. When you want to say something to your child, say it to the Panagia instead and she will do all the work. Your prayer will become a spiritual hug, which embraces your children and captivates them."

- Father Porphyrios of Athens, from Road to Emmaus (an Orthodox journal)