he told me I have a soul

I feel my shame inside me like a knife

He told me that I have a soul

How does he know?

What spirit came to move my life?

Is there another way to go?

I am reaching, but I fall

And the night is closing in

And I stare into the void

To the whirlpool of my sin

I'll escape now from that world

[from Les Miserables]

that's what books will not tell me

This is from the novel Tess of the d'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy. It was written in 1891.

Tess: "Sometimes I feel I don't want to know anything more about it than I know already." 

Angel: "Why not?" 

"Because what's the use of learning that I am one of a long row only— finding out that there is set down in some old book somebody just like me, and to know that I shall only act her part; making me sad, that's all. The best is not to remember that your nature and your past doings have been just like thousands' and thousands', and that your coming life and doings 'll be like thousands's and thousands'."

"What, really, then, you don't want to learn anything?" 

"I shouldn't mind learning why— why the sun do shine on the just and the unjust alike," she answered, with a slight quaver in her voice. "But that's what books will not tell me."

Sonata in G

Givanni Paolo Cima, Sonata in G

where lichen scurries up the trunk of a tree that needs it

"You ask

to lead me to me
to lead you next

to colors all wet:
bark saturated brown,
brown-green

where lichen scurries up the trunk
of a tree that needs it.

You make me wonder about thirst,
the way things work together.
Boughs once empty fill with birds

in rapid flickering flight until beat, wingbeat,
winged threat: a magpie I try to wish away.

I ask, do not disappear.
That is no kind of apology
and I have never been a forgiver.

The green part of me never leaves
however I find that it remains with you.
However I find it in you

you must remember I am not a soft woman.
You’ll seek the mother in me
but expect to see splinters,
rolled margins.

Together we have never been so alone,
like ladders, like messengers with another
answer. The ink-stained hand holds

heartache no longer. It’s been set
and pressed down, mapped & scattered."

[Joan Naviyuk Kane, "Late Successional"]

draw back a little, and have a cup of tea

"Stand at the brink of the abyss of despair, and when you see that you cannot bear it anymore, draw back a little, and have a cup of tea." 

[Elder Sophrony of Essex]

Truth without having been reached by logic

[Mortimer Adler, Aristotle for Everybody]

at home in the bathtub

Conversation between Scout Finch and Miss Maudie Atkinson in To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee:

“You know old Mr. Radley was a foot-washing Baptist-”
“That’s what you are, ain’t it?”
"My shell’s not that hard, child. I’m just a Baptist.”
“Don’t you all believe in foot-washing?”
“We do. At home in the bathtub.”

birth is nothing but...

by V. Rae

 "Birth is nothing but the separation of one living body from another." 

[Mortimer Adler, Aristotle for Everybody]

in a word, eager purity and weary virtue

In we shuffle, hooded amplitudes,
scapulared brooms, a stray earring, skin-heads
and flowing locks, blind in one eye,
hooked-nosed, handsome as a prince
(and knows it), a five-thumbed organist,
an acolyte who sings in quarter tones,
one slightly swollen keeper of the bees,
the carpenter minus a finger here and there,
our pre-senile writing deathless verse,
a stranded sailor, a Cassian scholar,
the artist suffering the visually
illiterate and indignities unnamed,
two determined liturgists. In a word,
eager purity and weary virtue.
Last of all, the Lord Abbot, early old
(shepherding the saints is like herding cats).
These chariots and steeds of Israel
make a black progress into church.
A rumble of monks bows low and offers praise
to the High God of Gods who is faithful forever. 

[Kilian McDonnell, "The Monks of St. John's File in for Prayer"]

my heart only has entrances

"My heart only has entrances. It doesn’t have exits. Whoever enters remains there. Whatever he may do, I love him the same as I loved him when he first entered into my heart. I pray for him and seek his salvation."

[Elder Epiphanios]

love quell my doubt and dread

Father whate’er of earthly bliss
Thy sovereign hand denies
Accepted at Thy throne of grace
Let this petition rise 

Let the sweet hope that thou art mine
My life and death attend
Thy presence through my journey shine
And crown my journey’s end 

Give me a calm, a thankful heart
From every murmur free
The blessings of Thy grace impart
And make me live to Thee 

You raise your hand to still the storms
That rage inside my head
Revive my heart with gratitude
Love quell my doubt and dread 

Give me a sure and rested soul
From every fear relieve
The spirit’s power and presence mine
To ever comfort me 

Give me a sure, a restful heart
From every fear relieve
Thy spirit’s power and presence mine
To ever comfort me. 

Give me a calm, a thankful heart
From every murmur free
The blessings of thy grace impart
And make me live to thee. 

[Anne Steele & Sandra McCracken, "Petition"]

the language is a bluff

Le Penseur by Auguste Rodin, 1902

"I’m always amused that so many social studies or science concepts must be, in about equal parts, 'described,' others 'analyzed,' or 'discussed.' It is perfectly plain that these verbs were assigned arbitrarily and that the language is a bluff; our tests never ask students to truly analyze or explain or discuss anything. They ask students to choose the correct answer on multiple choice items... " 

[Mike Schmoker]

full, ready, exact

“Reading maketh a full man;
conference a ready man;
and writing an exact man."

[Francis Bacon] 

our understanding of them is primitive

"It is not that the primitive Eskimos are simple, but that our understanding of them is primitive."

[Marshall Shalins, paraphrased in Fienup-Riordan in Eskimo Essays] 

Nocturne in C-Sharp Minor

This is the next song I want to learn on the piano. Breathtaking.

we must understand Jerusalem and Athens

All the hopes that we entertain in the midst of the confusions and dangers of the present are founded positively or negatively, directly or indirectly on the experiences of the past. Of these experiences the broadest and deepest, as far as we Western men are concerned, are indicated by the names of the two cities Jerusalem and Athens. Western man became what he is and is what he is through the coming together of biblical faith and Greek thought. In order to understand ourselves and to illuminate our trackless way into the future, we must understand Jerusalem and Athens.

[Leo Strauss] 

an idealized image of ourselves

"...[We have a] desire to see hunting societies in general and Eskimos in particular as an original, primitive image of ourselves. The point is not to replace the image of the peaceful Eskimo with a violent one. To understand interpersonal violence and politically aggressive acts by Eskimos today, however, it is essential to understand the interpersonal hostilities and political alliances that were forged during the period of bow-and-arrow wars. Our representation of the Eskimo is especially important to understand because we have modeled our image of Eskimos, perhaps more than that of any other people, on an idealized image of ourselves."

[Ann Fienup-Riordan, Eskimo Essays]

perfect, sure, right, pure, clean, true, righteous

The law of the Lord is perfect,
reviving the soul;
the testimony of the Lord is sure,
making wise the simple;
the precepts of the Lord are right,
rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the Lord is pure,
enlightening the eyes;
the fear of the Lord is clean,
enduring forever;
the rules of the Lord are true,
and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold,
even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey
and drippings of the honeycomb.
Moreover, by them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
Who can discern his errors?
Declare me innocent from hidden faults.
Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins;
let them not have dominion over me!
Then I shall be blameless,
and innocent of great transgression.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

[Psalm 19:7-14]

those whose soul is intelligent

St. Anthony by Piero di Cosimo, c. 1480 

People are generally called intelligent through a wrong use of this word. The intelligent are not those who have studied the sayings and writings of the wise men of old, but those whose soul is intelligent, who can judge what is good and what is evil; they avoid what is evil and harms the soul and intelligently care for and practice what is good and profits the world, greatly thanking God. 

[Anthony of Egypt]

pride = deciding what's cool in advance of the rest of the world

Photo from Hipster Christianity

Pride comes from knowing, and deciding, what’s cool in advance of the rest of the world.

[Mark Greif in his article "The Hipster of the Mirror" in the New York Times]